How to Beat the "Sunday Scaries"

This week's post is going to explore the Sunday Scaries, the importance of recharging, and a three-step guide to building recharging into your routine.

It's Sunday night. You just get back from "Boozy Brunch" that seeped into "Sunday Funday", and all of the sudden it's 7pm.

You quickly whip up some food, plant yourself on the couch and decide to use what's left of your precious weekend to chill.

Out of nowhere the wave hits you... that feeling in the pit of your stomach... you know the one.

After falling asleep on the couch and waking up to season 1, episode 4 of some random show the algorithm started without your consent, you drag yourself into bed like a zombie, hoping and praying that you'll get some real, actual sleep.

There it is. The dreaded, somehow-always-too-loud Monday morning alarm. You hit snooze a few times.

"I slept terribly, today is gonna suck."

You begrudgingly pull yourself out of bed, sleepwalk into the kitchen to make toast and start brewing the first of many cups of coffee, all while pleading with anyone within shouting distance to just let you turn off all your devices and melt back under the covers...

Alas, you power through, show up to your first Monday morning Zoom call and reluctantly start your week.

Does this feel familiar? If so, you've experienced the Sunday Scaries.

The Inevitable Sunday Scaries

For a long time (let's call it a decade plus), I experienced severe anxiety almost every single Sunday. This perpetual feeling of impending doom on a weekly basis, especially gutting in my early 20s, was truly debilitating.

I wasn't able to function on Sundays, often feeling queazy or, worse, that "pit in the bottom of the stomach" sensation due to impending stress and anxiety about the week ahead. 

While I now recognize that feeling as a complete misalignment of my values to my work, which then consumed about 60-70 hours of my waking hours each week, at the time, it was much more mysterious and frightening.

The pattern was, imaginably, unmanageable. I knew I couldn't function this way, and quite frankly, I used all of my energy to resist the "bad feelings" – so much so that I started experiencing Saturday Scaries, dreading the Sunday feeling that was looming ahead... you can probably guess how terrible of a cycle this turned out to be...

Something. Had. To. Change.

Over the course of the last few years, becoming more conscious of this Sunday Scary pattern, I decided to make a change:

Sure, there are exceptions. Just this past Sunday, I sacrificed my evening of recharging for a rehearsal with Charlotte's OneBand (see this week's Fulfillment Photo below).

But I've committed to it, week after week. And it's made a huge difference in my mood, stress level, relationships, and ability to be more present in my life.

I've even gone as far as sharing this expectation and boundary with many close friends and family. They now know that, while I love to do fun things with them throughout the week, Sunday is not an option.

It gets easier the more I share it and the more I stay true to it.

It also makes it easier to identify and allow the exceptions when the rule is in place.

The Benefits of Recharging

There are many benefits for recharging regularly. Here are some of the top reasons I've identified:

• To preserve your mental health

• To allow your body and mind to rest

• To focus on getting life reset for the day/week/month ahead

• Allowing time for more individual (read: introverted) interests

• Increasing awareness, mindfulness, gratitude, and appreciate for what you have and the world around you

I now look forward to Sundays – something I never thought I would say.

Instead of dread, anxiety, stress, and resistance to the work week ahead, I now use my Sundays intentionally for:

• Cooking meals for the week and exploring creativity through cooking

• Playing music

• Getting house chores done

• Sitting outside in the sun

• Sleeping in, waking up early, or whatever my body is telling me

• Reading

• Watching 7 hours of commercial-free football (IYKYK) or other sports, which helps me with sitting still

Can Recharging Lead to Fulfillment?

If you identify as a "constantly busy person," or feel overcommitted in general, resting and recharging before gearing up for the next week will allow you to recenter and be more present for the commitments you've made for the week ahead. Including:

• Work

• Creative projects

• Your partner, family, roommate, pets, or other close companions

• Personal and professional relationships

• Health & wellness

• Hobbies & fun

Being more rested to focus on the things that fill up your cup is what it's all about. That's how you jump off the hamster wheel of stress, anxiety, and impending doom (yes, we can be overdramatic), and start taking strides towards a more fulfilling life.

Consequences of Not Recharging

For me, when I don't prioritize recharging on Sundays, my week often looks like:

• Feeling irritable

• Experiencing an array of physical symptoms

• Calling in sick

• Lack of interest in doing things with others

• Exhaustion & general tiredness

• Lack of focus

• Avoiding work, commitments, and responsibilities

While some of these symptoms are normal and can happen from time to time, it can certainly lead to problems and consequences when showing up chronically.

What does it look like when you don't prioritize recharging?

3 Simple Steps for How to Truly Recharge

You may be thinking: "OK, I'm sold on recharging, but how do I prioritize it? I constantly want to feel more rested, but I can't seem to ever really get there."

Here are three simple steps for how to truly recharge:

1) Know Your Energy Sources

Everyone recharges in different ways.

If you're more of a natural introvert (by way of the more scientific definition: drawing energy from your internal environment), you might recharge by cozying up with a good book, organizing a shelf, watching a good movie, removing external stimuli, connecting 1:1 with a friend, or simply resting.

If you're a natural extravert (drawing energy from your external environment), you might be better suited to recharge by socializing - perhaps planning an impromptu happy hour or what I like to call a GOFNOT (good ol' fashioned night on the town), getting out of your static environment (i.e. your dwelling or office), engaging with a riveting/stimulating subject (through video, audio, etc.), or another social activity. 

Most people identify as ambiverts, needing a mix of both or something in between. In any case, you may want to try out different activities, pay attention to how rested you feel the next day and week, and adjust as you see fit :)

Step 1: Choose an activity that you can do this week, based on the energy source you need

2) Build in Recharge Time

It's important to budget time in your week for recharging, just like you would any other important commitment.

Think of your energy like a bank account: your energy is finite, you have a limited amount to exert each day, and you may need to build up reserves to get you through more taxing stretches of time - such as busy periods at work or weeks with more social commitments than usual.

There are three factors in terms of budgeting time:

a) Quantity

How much time do you need to recharge? This will likely vary depending on the activity you choose above.

Be realistic. Start small.

b) Frequency

How often do you need to recharge? Consider your intentions and what feels realistic.

This may be a daily activity, a weekly routine, or something else entirely. Set an intention for what feels right and what you can commit to.

c) Timing

Decide what time of day (i.e. for daily habits) or what day of the week (i.e. weekly habits) you'll commit to recharging. Remember, set the rule to make room for the exception.

Step 2: Define your quantity, frequency, and timing for recharging

3) Schedule It!

Step 3: Go schedule the block of time on your calendar and include the details

You're much more likely to follow through if you've written it down, especially in your calendar or wherever you keep your other commitments. 

Let's Hear From You

Resource of the Week

Did you know that there's a podcast all about managing the Sunday Scaries?

In each episode, Dora will help you reframe your thinking about Sunday Scaries and lead you through a guided meditation to put those thoughts into action.

We're big fans of Headspace here at LYV. I've made it a habit to use the guided meditations and sleepcasts on almost a daily basis, and it has helped me recenter, especially during times of stress, anxiety, and depression.

You can try out Headspace free for 30 days with our affiliate link (you're also always welcome to skip our link and head to the website directly).

Fulfillment Photo

This Tuesday, I had the pleasure of joining 20 other musicians on stage for Charlotte's OneBand performance at Divine Barrel Brewing... 

Check out the full video here and a short IG reel here.

🎸🎤🤘🤘

Feeling fulfilled? Send us a photo of you living your values to be featured in an upcoming LYV newsletter!

That's all for this week - can't wait to hear what you worked on by next issue :)

🥯 Bagel 🥯